When “Bieber Fever” started spreading like wildfire, I really hoped it was going to be a phase the world went through. I assumed he would be on the charts long enough to make a record or two, and then he’d be yesterday’s news. Man, was I wrong. This kid is still making millions, and I don’t see any chance of that slowing down in the future. The only problem I have now is with the massive amount of attention this kid gets. It literally makes me sick just thinking about it. Here are a few reasons why I have a problem with Bieber Fever…

I Hate Screaming Little Girls
“Ahhhhh! Oh my gawwwwwd! It’s JUSTIN BIEBER!” Ugh, I can’t even read that without getting annoyed. Justin Bieber is the typical pop star that draws in a following of preteen girls and flamboyantly gay guys. I don’t have a problem with gay men screaming in excitement because I know that’s just a mini-orgasm for them. With the little girls though, I swear I could punch them all in the face. The Bieber shriek is particularly blood curling, and I will die a happy man if I never have to hear it again. Sadly, I know that’s not going to be the case.

I Hate Rich Little Boys
I’m not denying that Justin Bieber has worked for his money, but I get a bit annoyed when he flaunts it around. He’s not as cocky as Aaron Carter and other boys that preceded him, but he does have a sense of arrogance that you can see a mile away. I would be much more tolerant of a 70 year old forensic psychologist that bragged about the money he worked for all his life. Bieber the damn-near-billionaire just gets under my skin.

I Hate Every Little Thing
There really isn’t anything about Bieber Fever that I like. I realize it’s a fad and will eventually go away, but for now, I’m going to bitch about it. If you don’t agree with me, too bad. You already read this article, so now my thoughts are in your head. Muhahahaha!

Alright, enough of my soap box moment. I’ll try to get back on track next time – “try” being the operative word there.

I’ve been making money online for a while now, and I know I’m not the only college guy out there that does this. Most of us try to live off random scholarships for a semester or two, only to find out that’s not fruitful in the slightest. I turned to the internet after my round of financial aid frustration because it allowed me to get my school work done and still make a living whenever I had a moment to spare. What do I do online? I write. You might have noticed that from this little blog of mine…

I have always had a knack for writing, but I never really thought of it as a career. In fact, I don’t enjoy writing much at all. I would much rather do an assortment of other activities to pay my way through school. Nevertheless, this is where my talents have landed me, and I’m willing to take the profits to come. I gotta say, they’re not bad at all.

When I worked at Red Lobster and Buffalo Wild Wings, I was lucky to bring home $100 a night. I can make that now before I go out for my morning jog. I average about $400 a day, and I’m only working part time. Combine this with the convenience of staying at home in my boxers and Budweiser shirts, and you can see why I’m not complaining about my job. I happen to have a series of good clients who are willing to pay well for my services. As long as I continue to product quality content in high volumes, they’re willing to pay out for my writing.

If you want to explore the whacky world of freelancing, you could go on sites like oDesk, TextBroker, and TheContentAuthority.com. they have work available on multiple levels, so you could find something that suits your skills and knowledge. My girlfriend writes online as well, and she actually makes more money than me because she’s been doing it longer. Thus she has more feedback, gets more clients…etc. you just have to see what opportunities are out there for you.

If you need a job that will pay well and still give you a chance to…dare I say…study, freelance writing could be perfect for you. Give it a try, and you’ll see why I’m online every single day.

No one wants to admit that they need a toupee, but sometimes, that just has to happen. You could always shave your head, but who knows how that would look? A simple hair replacement system could keep you looking young, and it could help you get back your confidence again. All you have to do is find the right hair piece for you. Here are some tips to help you pick the perfect toupee whenever you need one.

Copy Your Natural Hair

Ideally, you need to get something that is the same color and texture of your natural hair. If your hair is normally black and curly, people may think you look odd with blonde, straight hair. (Consider the obviously terrible toupee on the right >)That isn’t to say that you cannot change up your hair and get something totally different. You just have to prepare for people noticing the obvious change. At least consider something close to your natural look before choosing a toupee that doesn’t fit you well.

Get a Versatile Length

The hair on your toupee can always be cut, so you might want to get a piece that has somewhat long locks. This will give you a chance to cut your hair in a way that best flatters your face. Some pre-made toupees are designed to fit certain head shapes. If your head is a little different, as it surely is, you might need to adjust the cut a bit. That is why it is nice to have more hair to play with than less.

Buy a Durable Toupee

You need to make sure that the toupee is well made before spending money on it. If it is basically like a ball of doll hair on top of a rubber cap, you shouldn’t spend any money on it at all. Check out the company that is selling the toupee and make sure they are reliable. Then you can at least be sure that the piece you’re getting is worth the value.

Consider a Custom Look

If you can’t find anything you want off the shelf, you might need to customize your toupee. This is going to cost more money of course, but it will give you a chance to get exactly what you want out of your hair. You can talk to a company that makes custom hair pieces and find out what your options are. Then you can select the color, length, thickness, and texture of your one-of-a-kind toupee.

There are so many variations to keep in mind when buying a toupee. The key is to assess all of your options when you see them and then make wise decisions from there. You may like something that most other people don’t like, but it’s your hair in the end. You have to buy what you feel comfortable in. If you find a toupee that just feels like it belongs on your body, that is the one for you. Buy it and cherish it wherever you go.

Women are complex creatures. You think they want one thing out of you, and then they end up falling for a guy that’s the total opposite. I have tried perfecting the art of attracting women, and most of what I have discovered came from moments when I didn’t try at all. There are tons of reasons why a woman may find you sexy, and half of them are the exact opposite of what you would expect. Before you start schmoozing some chick you barely know at a bar, you need to have a game plan. That is what this article is all about. Here are some traits you may want to portray the next time you pick up a woman.

Disinterest
Women like to feel like you are listening to them, but they also like to feel like they have to work for your attention. You have to give your girl a bit of the cold shoulder so she keeps longing for more. I’m not saying you need to ignore her completely, but try to focus on yourself and her on the date. You don’t want to seem like you’re analyzing her like a psychologist. If there is a good balance between the two, she will be falling for you in no time.

Parenting Abilities
Some men think that spending time with their kids is going to make them look soft and sappy. It actually does quite the opposite. Most women think that a man who can handle kids well is strong, powerful, and capable of handling a mature relationship. If you have a child from a previous relationship, you cannot be afraid to show him or her to your girlfriend. You may be surprised by just how sexy you look to her when you have a diaper bag strapped to your shoulder.

Spontaneity
There may be one or two women in the world that like predictability, but most of them will enjoy being surprised every once and a while. With this, I’m not talking about surprising her with a new car or the fact that you quit your job. Just do something slightly out of the ordinary. As long as you can prove that you are still a reliable person at the end of the day, you should be able to woo your woman just by thinking outside of the box.

Test out my tips the next time you go out to meet someone new, and I guarantee you’ll get at least one flirty look to come your way.

I recently started working part time with a lawn care company, and I think I’ve learned a lot about the business in a short period of time. Assuming other guys like me may work in similar positions, I thought it would be nice to write an article about lawn mower jacks.

Investing in a lawn mower lift is a wise decision if you use a lawn mower on a regular basis. This will lift your lawn mower up for repairs so you don’t have to figure out a creative way to get under it. There are many different models on the market to choose from, so all you have to do is make sure you get the right model for you. This can be a difficult task if you do not know what to look for, but with a few tips in mind, you should have no trouble buying the perfect lift to fit your needs. Listed below are some of the features you can look for in a good lawn mower lift for you.

Compatibility
One of the first things you have to think about is whether a specific lawn mower jack is going to be compatible with your lawn mower. This is the same theory as finding the best online schools to go with the degree you want to pursue. You can check the weight of your mower and compare it to the carrying capacity of the lift in question. Then you can also see what kinds of wheel sizes and spacing the lift can work with. If everything suits the model of lawn mower you have, you can at least be sure that you will be able to use the lift on a regular basis.

Reliability
You should also check into the manufacturer of your lawn mower jack to make sure it is a trustworthy one. Some manufacturers have better names in this industry than others, and it is your job to make sure that you work with someone who is reputable and affordable. There are models of jacks available at all different price points, so cost may not be a big issue. Focus on getting a quality lawn mower lift and that should make all the difference in your repairs.

Reachability
See how high your lawn mower jack will be able to lift your lawn mower. Some models may only be able to go a foot off the ground, but others can go much higher. You need something that is going to bring your mower to a place where it is easily accessible. You either need something that will lift it high to work on top or something that you can easily get to from below. You can think about the way your lawn mowers are set up to determine which option would be ideal for you. Most machines that life heavy mowers will not be able to go very high, so try to keep that in mind. You will need to get a balance between those two factors for your lawn mower lift.

Before you spend money on a lift that is not going to make your repair jobs easier, read all the information you can about the different models available. That should narrow your search until you eventually find the perfect lift for you. Let the internet point you toward the mower lift that will best serve you. There you can compare all of your options quickly and easily, and you will ultimately be able to order whatever it is you need.

A personal trainer can be a vital source of help during your workout routines. He or she can provide you with motivation unlike any other, and he or she will know what it takes to get your body where you want it to be. I actually have a family member that works as a personal trainer, so I get a bit of a discount on my services. Nevertheless, I have learned the value of talking to him over the years, and I thought I would write an article encouraging you to do the same.

In order to get the most out of the work you do with your trainer, you have to talk to him or her about your plans, dreams, and overall goals throughout the process. That will give the trainer the guidance needed to help you the best he or she can. Here is a look at just how important it is to communicate with your personal trainer.

Bringing up the Issues

Every person has issues with his or her body that may not be noticeable to other people. This is especially true for women because they tend to be insecure about the tiniest flaws in their bodies. If you do not tell your personal trainer what your insecurities are, you may not get a chance to work on them the way you want to. As painful as it may be to bring up your flaws, in this case it will help you eliminate them. That will establish your confidence for the future.

Analyzing the Results

Communicating with your personal trainer will also help you get an idea of what your workouts are doing for your body. Sometimes it is hard to be fully committed to an exercise if you do not know what it is for. If the trainer tells you that this will flatten your stomach or strengthen your arms, you may be more willing to push through the pain to get results. Your trainer will be more than willing to walk through the purpose of your exercises for you as long as you ask about them.

Addressing the Concerns

The more you can communicate with your personal trainer, the better results you can get. Tell the trainer about any medical concerns you have because those may impact the kinds of workouts you do. People with respiratory problems have to work out in shorter sets because of their breathing troubles. People with arthritis have to do exercises that result in the least amount of pressure on their joints. All of these adjustments can be made through simple communication.

Forming a Connection

Your personal trainer has to be your cheerleader – the person who motivates you to succeed. If you are not connected to him or her, you cannot get the support you need to look your best. When you communicate with your trainer, you are inevitably going to get to know each other a little bit. This will give you a chance to form a bond and potentially even a friendship. In a situation like this where you really need someone by your side to help you do your best, a simple connection can make all the difference.

Find a personal trainer or physical therapist that you enjoy working with, and then talk to him or her about what you want most out of your time together. This may require you to open up a little bit, but you will see better results because of that. I know guys don’t like to talk, but sometimes, we just have to do it. Take my advice dude – it will change your workouts for the better.

I’ve been doing a lot of “soul searching” lately, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to make a difference in the world. I’m not sure how I’m going to do that, but my most recent theory is that I am going to become a cop. This process doesn’t take a lot of time in comparison to other options, and it would allow me to get out there and really help out the community. Sure, there is a perk to having a police officer career (looking like a badass), but I really want to do this for the right reasons. I still have a lot of thinking to do though, so I thought I would just dedicate this article to explaining what it takes to become a police officer. If you’re thinking about doing the same, this guide may come in handy for you.

Step 1 – Determine If Law Enforcement Is the Right Fit

Before I can fully commit to this process, I have to figure out if I want to go through police officer duties on a day to day basis. This is an unpredictable career, which is exciting and nerve racking at the same time. Here are some of the job duties I have discovered in my research:

• Watch for traffic violations
• Assist local citizens
• Issue traffic tickets
• Escort funeral processions
• Draft police reports
• Break up fights
• Provide security
• Respond to 911 calls
• Arrest criminals and lawbreakers

I think I can do all of that in my career, but I really don’t know yet. Thus I’m kind of stuck at step one for now.

Step 2 – Get an Education

Once I get the balls to actually go through with this process, I think I’m going to get some kind of degree. I don’t have to. I could just enter a police academy with a high school diploma. Nevertheless, I think this would be a good opportunity for me to get the education I desperately need. Here are some of the degrees I’ve been thinking about:

• Associate of Science in Criminal Justice
• Associate’s Degree in Law Enforcement
• Bachelor of Science in Sociology
• Bachelor of Science in Criminal Justice
• Bachelor of Arts in History
• Bachelor of Arts in Criminology
• Bachelor of Arts in Criminal Justice
• Master of Science in Criminal Justice
• Master of Business Administration

Step 3 – Find a Job

When I get out of the police academy, the only thing I’ll have left to do is get a job. I can do this rather easily though, since I’m charming and all that jazz. I’m kind of excited about my expected pay as well, but maybe that’s just me. Here’s a sneak peek into my potential salary as a police officer:

Salary by Experience

• Less than 1 year of experience: $24,470 – $58,803 per year
• 1-4 years of experience: $27,811 – $65,016 per year
• 5-9 years of experience: $30,669 – $79,143 per year
• 10-19 years of experience: $34,181 – $89,225 per year
• 20 years or more of experience: $39,633 – $105,823 per year

Salary by Company Size

• 1-9 staff members: $26,014 – $75,250 per year
• 10-49 staff members: $26,000 – $76,557 per year
• 50-199 staff members: $30,723 – $79,381 per year
• 200-599 staff members: $32,428 – $75,941 per year
• 600-1999 staff members: $33,696 – $87,088 per year
• 2000-4999 staff members: $38,167 – $86,414 per year
• 5000-19999 staff members: $38,389 – $100,496 per year
• 20000-49999 staff members: $49,610 – $97,699 per year
• 50000+ staff members: $23,700 – $73,826 per year

So, do you think I should do it? Ugh, I just don’t know. All I call say is wish me luck! I’m going to need it no matter what.

I recently got a DUI, which is something that I’m not proud of in the slightest. I shouldn’t have been drinking and driving, but it happened. Now I’m suffering with the consequences. I don’t like to be vocal about crap like this because it makes people look at me all weird. Nevertheless, I figured I’m not the only college guy that has a DUI on his record. If you are in the same boat as I am, you may need some insight into how to get out of the situation. That is what this article is all about.

Living with a DUI on Your Record

Lucky for me, having a DUI isn’t like committing adultery. I don’t have to walk around with a big D on my chest like that one chick did in The Scarlet Letter. However, there is a difference between life before and after the DUI. People look at me differently, especially my girlfriend. They act like I can’t drive a car or do much of anything because I’m too irresponsible. They never thought that before. I’m not saying I don’t deserve the dirty looks, but they hurt a lot more than I expected them to. Maybe that’s just me.

Getting Car Insurance with a DUI

Searching for the best car insurance for DUI drivers can be a challenge, especially if you do not know what to look for. With a DUI on record, you will have to pay higher premiums than other people. It’s as if you have to be a senior software engineer just to be able to afford car insurance with a DUI. This adds another twist to the already frustrating task of picking an insurance provider to work with. Despite all of the frustration though, there are ways for you to get what you need in your car insurance without having to spend a ton of money along the way.

The best car insurance for you may not be the same as the best option for me. Thus you should never assume that you will get a good deal with a company just because a friend of yours did in a similar situation. Insurance companies assess people in different ways, and one of the factors on your application may look more favorable to one company than it does to another. You have to take the time to look around to find out which company is going to offer you the best possible deal.

When you start looking for the best car insurance for your DUI, you need to think about how much coverage you actually need. You will have to at least get the minimum amount of liability coverage for the state you live in, but you could also look at coverage beyond those limits. You know how good of a drive you are, and you should be able to see how likely you are to be in an accident. Without the right coverage, you could be out a lot of money in damages. The best idea is to get the most insurance that you can logically pay for and drive as safely as you can from there.

You can usually get the best car insurance from a company that specializes in working with high risk drivers. I had to do this with my insurance, and I’ll tell you that it saved a sh*t ton of money. These companies are more likely to give you a good deal on your policy because they are better prepared to work with high risk drivers. Mainstream insurance companies can potentially help you out, but they may charge you a bundle for a minimal policy. Save yourself the hassle and work on getting a policy from a company that will be able to help you out.

Having facial hair is sort of a rite of passage for men. It shows how burly we are, and it makes us feel like we have just an ounce of Chuck Norris in our souls. My girlfriend despises facial hair, so she made me shave off the B.A. goatee that I had been growing out for a month before I met her. Call me whipped all you want. Just remember that I’m the one that’s being whipped in the bedroom when I’m handcuffed to the bed. If you have been thinking about growing out your facial hair, you need to think about what will and will not be appropriate for your lifestyle. Here is an analysis that should help you out.

Full Beards

A full beard is best reserved for men over the age of 40. They just look too “sophisticated” for younger guys. In this case, I’m referring to a Billy Mays beard, not a ZZ Top beard. There is a big difference. Try to keep the beard close to your face if you grow one out, as that will look cleaner than the braidable option. If you could logically lose a pencil in your beard, you need to trim it down.

Goatees

A goatee is a form of facial hair that is somewhat accepted in the corporate world. I had a boss once that rocked a goatee, and I also had a principle in high school that wore one. Again, though, this is only acceptable if the piece is trimmed close to your face. If you have something really long, you will not be able to wear it to work. I suppose you could if you were a tattoo artist or you owned your own motorcycle shop, but most of us working for “the man” wouldn’t have a chance to do so. Thus it may be in your best interest to keep everything trim.

Wrap arounds

I used to wear a wrap around, and I really liked it. This is the facial hair that basically forms a little line around your chin but does not put hair anywhere else on the face. I liked it because it made my face look thinner, and it still gave me an edge. I had to shave it because of the girlfriend though, so now I just have to mourn the passing of my wrap around. Let’s all have a moment of silence for him, shall we?

Mustaches

A mustache can look pretty cool on some guys, but it can also look a little creepy, pedophile-ish on others. There is not much of a difference between a badass-stache and a p0rnstache, so you may have to play around with the look to find something that works for you. Any man that can wear a handlebar mustache and make it look bullet proof is a man that I don’t want to mess with. You can test out different looks until you find the perfect one.

Light Stubble

Recently I discovered that a clean shaven face is not always as exciting as a lightly stubbly face. My girlfriend may hate facial hair, but she seems to really like my five o’clock shadow for some reason. You could try the “forgot to shave” look one day and see what it does for you. In the right setting, it may turn out to be just the right look.

So, to shave or not to shave? That is up to you. Find a week to test out a whole bunch of different looks, and you will hopefully land on the perfect option for you.

Roommates suck. I don’t care who you are or where you go to school. Roommates suck. I haven’t had a roommate for a few years now, and I love the freedom that setup provides me with. Nevertheless, I have been through the process of sharing a dorm room and an apartment with someone else. I know how it feels and how nerve racking it can be. If you want to have the best experience possible living with someone else, you need to make sure that you pick the right roommate from the start. Otherwise, you could end up bald by the end of it because of all the fricking hair that you have to pull out. Here are some tips to help you find the best roommate for your lifestyle.

You Don’t Need a Friend

A lot of people try to pick their friends to be their roommates because they figure those will be the people they can get along with. I actually think that’s a bad idea though because it can lead to a lot of fights. Think about what happens when you stay with your girlfriend for too long. You eventually get tired of one another and start fighting. The same thing will happen to your roommate. If you room with someone you don’t know or don’t talk to very often, you will have a better chance of simply tolerating one another until you can move out on your own.

You Do Need Peace and Quiet

It is always cool to live with a partier because he can show you where the best booze and babes are. Nevertheless, you have to remember that you are in college. You aren’t there to party. You’re there to learn. (I can see the eye rolls already). At the end of the day, you need a roommate that is going to stay quiet so you can sleep, study, and do whatever else you need to do to get through your classes. If you are stuck rooming with someone who can’t shut up, you will drive yourself crazy by the beginning of the first semester.

Everyone Needs Respect

There needs to be a certain level of respect on behalf of both parties if the roommate situation is ever going to work. You can borrow each other’s hair gel or whatever, but you need to have a general respect for one another’s property. You also need to respect each other’s schedules and beliefs to maintain the peace in the house. If your roommate has to sleep throughout the day because he works the night shift, then you need to make sure you remain quiet while he is in bed. If you have valuable belongings that you don’t want people touching in your room, your roommate needs to stay away from them. Wit mutual respect comes mutual happiness, so keep that in mind as you go about selecting a roommate.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, you just need to room with someone that will pay rent and not piss you off. Make sure that person goes on the lease with you because the landlord will run a background check on him or her. If everything works out well, you at least know you won’t be bunking with an axe murderer. The last thing you need is to find out your roommate is Michael Myers a month after signing your rental agreement. Try to get a vibe from the people you talk with to find the right fit for your lifestyle. Hopefully there is someone out there that can work for you.

We’ve all been raised to believe that “bigger is better.” Bigger house, bigger car, bigger bank account, bigger business, bigger muscles…bigger man rod. I have done a lot of research over the years to find out if size really matters in the bedroom, and I was actually surprised by my results. Most people will now assume that I’m not packing anything at all because I wouldn’t have explored this question if I was. That is far from the case though. The truth is that bigger guys go through a lot of the same problems that smaller guys do, despite how awesome it may sound to have a $5 footlong wrapped around your leg. Here is a look at my size analysis, five years in the making.

The Science behind Size

Most guys assume that they have to have a bigger member in order to please a woman in bed. That, however, is not the case. Women have three major pleasure zones you have to keep in mind – the clitoris, the G spot, and the A spot. The clitoris is on the exterior of the body, so you don’t have to worry about size in that regard. Some women say that men with a lot of girth can stimulate that area easier, but you can always do that with your fingers.

The G spot is a sensitive area of the body that is only three inches inside of the vagina. It is right along the front wall, and it is pretty easy to get to in missionary, cowgirl, or other front facing positions. As long as you have enough going on down there to reach that spot, you’re in business. The A spot is the only area where size will in fact matter, but most women do not feel that part of the body anyway. It is buried deep within the vagina, and it is only accessible through very specific sex positions. At the end of the day, you only need about four inches to do some damage down below.

The Scare of Size

Most small guys assume that women will look at their slapstick and laugh because it is “so tiny.” In all actuality, women have a similarly extreme reaction about big guys. I have been turned down for sex just as much as I have been overly invited for sex, just because some women are scared of my size. Indeed, a lot of women actually prefer smaller men because they are easier to slip inside. If a girl is scared of what you’re packing, she may just turn you down from the start.

The Strategy of Size

Whether you are large or small, you need to find sex positions that are going to work in your favor. Larger guys usually work better from the back because they have a longer distance to travel that way. That allows them to thrust without missing the target. Smaller guys work well from the front, where they can pop in and go to town in a matter of seconds. Think as if you have a forensic science degree, and try to scope out evidence of pleasure in your partner’s face. When you land in the right spot, just keep going at it until the big bang.

As you can see, size really doesn’t matter. You can stress about it over and over again, but at the end of the day, you’re the only one stressing. Most women won’t care about the size of your gun. They just care about the strength of your firepower. As long as you are confident in your bedroom abilities, your partner will be responsive to them.

Alright guys. It’s time we all admit what we go on the internet for. Sure, you may legitimately use it for “research” or “FarmVille” every once and a while, but you know you come around here for the dirtiness that exists for free on the web. I’m not suggesting that you spend 10 hours a day looking at internet p*rn, but you have most likely Googled “big titties” at least once in your life. For those of you out there looking for a little “visual stimulation,” you may be able to find all that you need through music videos on YouTube. They’re free to view, and they’ll probably pop your pecker if you concentrate on them enough. Enough of my blabbering though. Let’s get to the hotties, shall we?

Dan Balan – Chica Bomb

You don’t just get one hot girl in this music video. You get four. This video has it all – asses, nipples, sweat, popsicle sticks, and an awesome beat. I could do without Dan Balan himself because he looks like a bit of a creeper in this vid. I don’t blame him for working his way in there though. I sure as hell would!

Shakira – She Wolf

I’ve always thought that Shakira was sexy, but this video took her sex appeal to a new level for me. She just struts her stuff all over the place in this one, with those tight little cat suits that show off all her assets. My favorite move is when she moves her butt up in the air all on its own. Imagine what damage that thing could do in the bedroom. Mmm mm mm.

Fountains of Wayne – Stacy’s Mom

This video is really funny, and it happens to feature a total sex goddess pole dancing. I can’t blame the kid for wanting to bang Stacy’s mom. I’d tap that.

Britney Spears – I’m a Slave 4 U

Britney Spears has caught a lot of grief over the years, but I think most people forget how f’ing sexy she used to be. Back in the “Baby One More Time” days, she’s was every bit of a 10, if not more. Let’s reminisce on the former sexiness, shall we?

Beyoncé – Single Ladies

I think most people make Beyoncé out to be sexier than she really is, but I admittedly can’t take my eyes off her in this music video. She may not be doing much in it, but what she is doing is pretty tasty.

Justin Timberlake – Cry Me a River

This video has a slow paced sexiness about it that is somewhat enticing over time. It beats Mother Lover – that’s for damn sure.

Christina Aguilera – Dirrty

This video helped me, um, “discover myself,” if you know what I mean. I honestly can’t believe they played it on TV. It’s that hot. Just watch for yourself. I’ll be wiping the drool off my keyboard in the meantime. Srsijkfr sk gsyuhriskfopdkga erhuinswfs

The Pussycat Dolls – Buttons

You don’t have to tell me to loosen up your buttons, ladies. I’ll take care of that unprovoked.

Trace Adkins – Hot Mama

If you’re a fan of country, this video is guaranteed to rock your socks off. I’m not crazy about the music itself, but I’d watch CMT 24 hours a day if all music videos looked like this one. Just saying.

Valentine’s Day is usually known as a holiday for couples, but it is also a time when desperate single dudes scope the town for insecure women to sleep with. I’m not saying that you can have your V-day V-time, but you have to find a sly way to go about doing that. A cheesy pickup line is not going to cut it, even if the women out on Valentine’s Day are looking for a quick lay just like you. Here is a list of some of the worst pickup lines you could possibly use on a woman, courtesy of JokerDesigns.com.

1. A women: “Do you have the time?” You: “Do you have the energy?”
2. Are you ready to go home yet?
3. Bang me if I’m wrong, but isn’t your name Gretchen?
4. Bond. James Bond.
5. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
6. Come over and sit on my lap, and we’ll talk about the first thing that pops up.
7. Do I know you from somewhere, because I don’t recognize you with your clothes on?
8. Do you have a mirror in your pocket, coz I could see myself in your pants.
9. Do you spit or swallow?
10. Do you want to see something swell?



11. Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let’s play gynecologist.
12. Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?
13. Hey babe… can you suck a golf ball thru 50 feet of garden hose?
14. Hey babe… my mouth can generate over 750 psi
15. Hey, let’s go make some babies.
16. HI! Can I buy you a car?
17. Hi, I make more money than you can spend.
18. How about a pizza and a shag? What’s wrong, don’t you like pizza?
19. I am a magical being, take off your bra.
20. I love every bone in your body – especially mine.
21. I love you. I want to marry you. Now shag my brains out.
22. I think we have to make love on the lawn like crazed weasels NOW!
23. I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
24. I would kill or die to make love to you.
25. I’d give you a piece of my mind, but I have more of something else.
26. I’d look good on you.
27. If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
28. If your right leg was Christmas and your left Easter, could I spend some time up between the holidays?
29. I’m a hurdle, do you want to jump me?
30. I’m Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?
31. I’m new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
32. I’m on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?
33. Look at the tag in her shirt and say: “I want to see if you were really made in heaven.”
34. Motion with your finger for a girl to come over, then say “I knew if I fingered you long enough you would cum.”
35. My face is leaving in 10 minutes. Be on it.
36. Nice shoes, wanna shag?
37. Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?
38. NOW, BITCH!
39. Really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree.
40. Say mother, want another? (if she has kids)
41. Say, did we go to different schools together?
42. Sex is a killer… want to die happy?
43. Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?
44. That dress would look great on the floor next to my bed.
45. Wanna hump like bunnies?
46. Wanna play carnival? Sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
47. Was your father a thief? ‘Coz someone stole the stars from the sky to put in your eyes.
48. What do you like for breakfast?
49. When she asks for a match. “The hair on my head, and the hair between your legs.”
50. Would you like Gin and Platonic or do you prefer Scotch and Sofa?
51. Would you like to dance or should I go screw myself again?
52. Would you like to have morning coffee with me?
53. You got nice breasts, but what color are your nipples? Brown or pink?
54. You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.
55. You must be tired… you’ve been running through my mind all night.
56. You seem like the kinda girl who’s heard every line in the book. So what’s one more?
57. Your face or mine?

Don’t try any of these on the big day. You need a better approach for women to actually respond to your advances. You don’t have to pretend you’re a CIA agent just to get some on February 14th. Just be yourself and look for someone in need of your “services.” If you stick with it enough, you’re bound to hook up with someone as desperate…I mean “single”…as you are.

My girlfriend and I have been debating about salaries recently because she happens to make more money than I do right now. That is mainly because she has been working at her job longer, but now she seems convinced that women in general make more money than men. Her theory is that there are fewer women in the work force than there are men, so they get paid more for being a minority. I beg to differ. After our little debate, we decided to put the numbers to the test. Here are some of the stats we found after browsing through PayScale.com. The results proved to be a little surprising.

Human Resource Manager Salary by Gender

• Men: $49,328 – $80,351 per year
• Women: $45,920 – $70,155 per year

Plastic Surgeon Salary by Gender

• Men: $148,738 – $390,000 per year
• Women: $99,436 – $297,476 per year

CIA Agent Salary by Gender

• Men: $50,250 – $116,843 per year
• Women: $59,141 – $99,031 per year

Police Officer Salary by Gender

• Men: $37,000 – $65,000 per year
• Women: $36,000 – $57,000 per year

Court Reporter Salary by Gender

• Men: $35,294 – $81,389 per year
• Women: $35,493 – $69,977 per year

Criminal Investigator Salary by Gender

• Men: $41,782 – $78,288 per year
• Women: $43,457 – $82,875 per year

FBI Agent Salary by Gender

• Men: $50,471 – $107,903 per year
• Women: $42,118 – $61,958 per year

Corrections Officer Salary by Gender

• Men: $29,881 – $49,025 per year
• Women: $27,452 – $36,001 per year

Marketing Coordinator Salary by Gender

• Men: $32,258 – $44,672 per year
• Women: $33,540 – $44,942 per year

Certified Public Accountant Salary by Gender

• Men: $47,735 – $71,265 per year
• Women: $46,949 – $68,012 per year

Executive Assistant Salary by Gender

• Men: $35,415 – $53,119 per year
• Women: $38,474 – $56,287 per year

Nurse Practitioner Salary by Gender

• Men: $72,496 – $96,881
• Women: $68,870 – $85,802

Forensic Scientist Salary by Gender

• Men: $40,525 – $93,598 per year
• Women: $37,151 – $62,713 per year

Paralegal Salary by Gender

• Men: $34,011 – $53,832 per year
• Women: $34,893 – $51,827 per year

CRNA Salary by Gender

• Men: $122,703 – $162,898
• Women: $118,467 – $154,042

Operations Manager Salary by Gender

• Men: $46,596 – $78,642 per year
• Women: $40,703 – $65,603 per year

Office Manager Salary by Gender

• Men: $34,191 – $53,432 per year
• Women: $33,261 – $50,135 per year

Cardiac Nurse Salary by Gender

• Men: $72,768 – $99,500 per year
• Women: $76,760 – $95,647 per year

Based on the figures above, I really can’t say that one gender makes more money than the other. It seems that certain industries pay more money to man and others pay more money for women. My girlfriend still thinks that she is going to make more than I will in the future, and that could very well be the case. That doesn’t make it true for every single career though, which is what I was trying to explain to her in the first place. I’ll just chalk this one up to a difference of opinion and leave it at that. Sound like a plan?

My girlfriend and I recently had a discussion about women’s wants vs. women’s needs from the perspective of establishing a relationship with someone. We basically wanted to get down to what women actually looked for in a guy, even if that is not what they eventually needed in him. We’ve all heard the horror stories of the assholes getting the women that were supposed to be for the good guys. That all spawns from women responding to what they want, not what they need. You don’t have to change your personality to suit the wants of the female population, but you may want to at least get an insight into their heads so you can know what you’re up against. Here are some of the things I discussed with my girlfriend, just to give you a sense of how women think.

Women Want Alpha Males

Women always want the man who establishes himself as the leader of a group of people. That comes from the animal kingdom, where the alpha male is always the pimp for all of the ladies in a pack, herd, etc. If you don’t establish yourself as a strong person in a crowd, you will have a hard time snagging a girl. They will just pass by to look at the guy making all of the funny jokes three tables away.

Women Need Stability

Even though most women are drawn to adventurous day, deep down inside, they know they need stability. That is why most of them will date adventurers for a long time before settling down with someone who has a stable job, a stable income, and a stable way of life. If you establish stability in your life early on, you will eventually become appealing to the women in your life. It is just a matter of time.

Women Want Mystery

A lot of women like dating men that they can’t quite figure out. My girlfriend always says that is one of the things she liked about me at first. I was open about my life without being too open, and I carried myself in a way that made her want to learn more. Men are like a code that women want to crack. The more complicated your code is, the more women will want to toy around with you for a bit.

Women Need Honesty

Even though women want mysterious men, they need men that are going to be honest with them. If you plan to lie to all of the women you date, you are going to be single for a very long time. Women don’t care as much about the crazy stories you can tell as they do about your trustworthiness as a boyfriend. Men who lie have something to hide, and no woman wants to find out what that is. As tempting as it may be to tell everyone you have a software engineering degree from Harvard, you might just want to fess up about your career from the start.

Appealing to the Wants and the Needs

It is not always easy to appeal to what women want and what women need at the same time, but you need to make an effort to do so. If you can carry yourself with confidence and still keep women interested in learning more about you, you will get the girl every time. Girls may be draw to assholes, but they don’t stick with them long. Sometimes it is better to be a strong, confident, stable guy because that is what women are going to want to stick with the longest.

Ever since I can remember, society has led me to believe that having a big schlong is the key to being successful in life. I have of course realized the contrary by now, but I, like most guys, have been a little curious about the effects of male enhancement products on size, girth, and performance. I don’t really have anything to complain about in the netherworld, but I was curious enough to do some investigating over the last week that I figured I would share. Before you sign up for Viagra, Extenze, or Peter North’s Pep-Me-Up Penis Pump, read the information below. It may save you from spending money on a product that you may not be satisfied with in the end.

Penis Pumps

Penis pumps are supposed to “pump” a few extra inches out of your manhood, but they usually don’t’ do anything of the sort. The theory behind these pumps is that you can pump your penis with this tube that looks like a dynamite release, and then you can magically get four extra inches of erection. Most of the time, these things don’t do anything but hurt your dick and make you regret ever wanting to have sex in the first place. When they do work, they just give you a long, limp third leg to work with. No woman is going to find that sexy…none. You might as well stick with Shorty McShort-Short at that point because it will at least be firm enough for a fun time.

Male Enhancement Pills

Male enhancement pills like Cialis and Viagra can I fact work, but they may not work in the way you think they should. A lot of guys think they can get bigger with male enhancement pills, but that is not the case. If you look over the common ingredients in male enhancement pills, you will see that most of them just increase blood flow to the penis. That will give you harder, thicker, and longer lasting erections, but it won’t necessarily make you bigger. These pills work well for overall enhancement, but they are not meant to add inches to your pelvis pickle. Keep that in mind before you buy them in the future.

Penis Extenders

Penis extenders are some of the scariest enhancement products you can find, and they are also some of the most dangerous ones. A penis extender is basically a brace that you can put around your penis that pulls the head of it away from the body. There are bands that go around the top and bottom of the penile shaft, and then there is an adjustable bar in between the bands that is supposed to pull everything apart. While the theory behind these devices is solid, the execution is nothing short of scary. You could bust blood vessels or severely reduce the firmness in your ego by using one of these tools, so you might as well avoid doing so from the start.

Solutions That Work

If you actually want to see safe and effective results with male enhancement, you need to thin about jelqing. This is a set of exercises you can do to improve the size of your penis over time. I have spoken to a lot of guys that have legitimately seen results from jelqing, but I have never actually tried these exercises myself. It can’t hurt to test a few things out while you are playing around down there and see if any of them work. At least this way, you won’t have to spend a dime to see a change in your pants.

When you live in your hometown, still close to your high school peers even after graduation, it is hard to develop a lifestyle that is separate from the experiences you had in high school. For me however, I didn’t have trouble at all. High school was full of Drama, but I was able to escape the Drama provided by over-zealous females and highly hormonal jocks. My secret? Drama itself.

Theatre, the Thespian Society to be exact, was my escape from the hardships of High School. Theatre,  in addition to Choir, I had quite the  ”flamboyant” experience. Now, let’s be clear: I like women. Okay, I’m glad we could clear that up (not that there is anything wrong with homosexuality, of course). Regardless of my sexual preference, my interests in High School gained me a fairly crappy reputation. What the general population never realized was that the men to women ratio was 1:6.

I do not care what anybody has to say about it, that is the exact definition of the perfect high school scenario. It didn’t help my reputation, however, that I convinced my peers to refer to our sucky football team as the Sausage Fest.

Tiger Pride.

Now that I’ve graduated, I’ve learned a lot about myself; which is something the judgment of others had forbid me to do in the past. In college, nobody judges. And, if they do, it is not going to matter anyways; it is easy to ignore. Furthermore, I have created the time to discover myself and evolve my interests. Long story short, this college thing is really working well for my ego.

If only I could move out of this town I would be so much happier. I have halfway convinced myself to move to Alaska and just settle for online classes. I just have a hard time seeing the people I graduated with and seeing how nobody has gotten anywhere in life for the past 3 years. And it is not that I think I’m better, we’re just different; and I don’t belong here.

Now the only thing about my life that is Dramatic is the number of movies I go see. I hope that my consistent visits to Muvico is a habit that many other Chicago Suburb college students have. Otherwise, I have a problem.

Winter break takes it’s toll on a student. For most people, it’s a breath of fresh air. For me, it’s a bore. Being in college I’ve realized that the world works much differently than the schedule I grew up on; the schedule of good ole’ district 401.

Being in the same school district my entire life, I’ve grown accustomed to the time-off given by the district. See, in college, I’ve learned that sometimes vacations can last more than one week (except summer vacation, that has always lasted three months.. unfortunately THAT won’t change once I hit the REAL real world).

Trying to find things to do was easy, for the first week and a half. Now I’m just trying to find new people to hang out with and different things to do. The only thing I haven’t done so has gone sledding. Without snow in Chicago most of the things to do during the winter can’t be done. It’s a giant bummer; a huge letdown.

I find myself up late at night watching video’s on Youtube and browsing articles on Yahoo. I also tried some online poker; I lost just under $200 (you can go ahead and laugh, I understand). Honestly, I’m losing my mind over here. Now I sleep in and I’m losing daylight! The weird schedule I’m on is one of the main things making me crazy.

When I get back to school my busy schedule will be thrusting me into a different dimension of crazy, but this boredom is something else entirely. However, I was laid off and a college dropout for 10 months; I guess this is something I should be used to. (and you can tease me about the college dropout thing too, I have it coming).

I never thought I’d be saying this, but I want to get back to school. This next semester of school may whoop my rear, but at least I know I’ll enjoy it for at least a month before that schedule gets too redundant.